The Machine
iTunes Price: USD 12.99
iTunes Rent Price: USD 3.99

Bert Kreischer rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine, and in his signature set he


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Bert Kreischer rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine, and in his signature set he recounts his true experience with Russian mobsters while on a booze-soaked college trip. Now, 23 years later, that trip has come back to haunt him as he and his estranged father (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped back to Russia by the mob to atone for something they say he did. Together, Bert and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self (Jimmy Tatro) in the midst of a war within a sociopathic crime family, all while attempting to find common ground in their often fraught relationship.

User Reviews
Sexy Dad Bod 2023-12-04
I went into this not expecting a good movie. Laughed my a@& off the whole time. It’s better if you’re a fan of Two Bears, One Cave.

MundyShaw12 2023-09-24
Great chemistry between Mark Hamill and Berty Boy. Awesome adaptation of one of Bert’s awesome stories.

Chachi Bona 2023-09-20
Worst then The Room. Horrible.

Fine 2$ 2023-09-15
It’s been a long time since a good R comedy, and this delivers in a big way! Very funny🤌🏽

Bigdunn22 2023-09-14
Lots of white people and not enough gays.

klskdneeclc 2023-08-20
I thought it was funny. It was a stereotypical Russian mafia movie though with humor added

Wesrail 2023-08-19
Horrible movie

Jesus_in_Tijuana 2023-08-11
This guy is incredibly annoying and he keeps popping up everywhere. Is the no shirt thing supposed to be funny?

Mps1467 2023-08-07
Enjoy your money and spend it in something other than this joke of a movie

pete dunzo 2023-08-04
I can’t believe this exists

Wakingupowls 2023-08-02
This was a rough watch

BraydenmF 2023-07-30
Would recommend!

Twin350x 2023-07-30
Watched it in theaters such a fun movie

Itsmericci 2023-07-29
You need a new thing.

luis0852 2023-07-28
Best comedy in years. Bert is a revelation, absolutely surprised of his acting skills (in a good way). We laughed, we cried and we cheered!!! Congrats on a surprisingly amazing movie!!! Waiting for fat man’s in space!!!

Thew Bear 2023-07-26
Only brain dead Black people don’t like this movie.

The Moody 2023-07-25
This story was funnier when he first told it over 15 years ago and he’s been milking it ever since. I can’t believe someone paid to have this dumb story turned into a movie. Wish I could give negative stars. Also…Put a shirt on, Bert. That has gotten old too.

Skyhigh Media 2023-07-24
Burt said at one point I don’t want to do movies he should have taken his advise smh

jmschedler 2023-07-23
This isn’t going to win any Oscar but I will say it was entertaining and corny clever at times. I chuckled many times. Goofy yes and creative writing that catches you off guard

Jay Dom 2023-07-22
These five star people must be Deadpool fans…. Or Burt’s people!

Nesus1205 2023-07-22
I love Bert main reason I watched it but I did enjoy the story and the quirkiness of the film. 4/5 will most def watch again

Bullshhhhh 2023-07-21
It’s not a top tier movie. Doesn’t deserve awards.. but will shock you. Bert us a better actor than expected

Smuroc79 2023-07-19
If you watch this whole movie and don’t like it then you really need to loosen up. Laugh a little. This movie is preposterous and hysterical for how ridiculous it is. Funniest movie in a while

Sean32312 2023-07-19
I don’t get it.

Interpol2.0 2023-07-17
What a flop

whitehype 2023-07-16
Phenomenal time enjoying hysterics and action

TBDM4life 2023-07-16
No talent not funny at all. Taking off your shirt is not funny. Dude is milking an overly exaggerated story to the bone

RyanJ90 2023-07-11
THE MACHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oxwater 2023-07-08
The Russians were calling Bert dense. It’s slang - the word for car in that language is also colloquially an insult. His whole foundation is built on a lie

Jarvilar 2023-07-07
I highly recommend you watch this

CPR76 2023-07-02
I’ve been a fan of Bert for a few years and heard his Russia story countless times. When I heard they were making a movie about it, I thought maybe they’re beating a dead horse, but I also thought that it might be interesting. I was pleasantly surprised when I went to the theater and watched it. Some true laugh out loud moments and solid acting from Bert. Pre ordered it when it became available.

GingaLion99 2023-06-30
Great to see the legendary story that created THE MACHINE make it to the big screen! Definitely worth the watch

stoney_akers 2023-06-30
Bert Chrysler deserves and academy award. He steals every scene; his riveting story rises from the ashes of his comedy career like a phoenix. Having overcome every obstacle, Bert’s story is one of inspiration.

ste.m4 2023-06-30
A return to funny raunchy comedies.

Goonstik 2023-06-29
One of the best movies i ever watched

AndyNYCAZ 2023-06-29
To repeat, no.

MichealFlames 2023-06-29
Enjoyed it. I wasn’t bad as I thought when I saw the trailer. Very entertaining and hilarious.

michaelmancuso 2023-06-26
How he made this better than the stand up is beyond me. This gets 5 stars!

El Storchay 2023-06-25
Bert Kreischer is painfully unfunny, taking off your shirt is not a comedy routine

Sikboy303 2023-06-25
Bert is absolutely insufferable and the idea of Hollywood trying to lack onto the rogan universe and this is what they come up with is hysterical….

ffokcfni 2023-06-25
Gotta offset that snowflake crying about mark hamills acting chops and political beliefs.

wife power 2023-06-22
Take a chance. Watch a movie you are unfamiliar with.

Austint.6 2023-06-21
Expected it to be better then it was. Not watchable more than once. Hard to get through even just once.

Yes Anyone and Everyone 2023-06-21
I can hardly believe how funny this was!!! best film in a long time. good for laugh

Scallawag 2023-06-21
Nah, I'll pass on mr. SJW. He's not a good actor. Never was.

wallè 2023-06-20
Don’t listen to the critics, I did and had doubts. They were incredibly wrong. This movie was fun and surprisingly action packed. Worth the watch and support of fat sticks first movie 🍻.

Jay$tacks 2023-06-02
This movie is terrible Not even funny..pass

Sox fan, but not a homer 2023-06-01
Disclaimer: one of the most entertaining/funny movies out!!!! You will Not be disappointed. Berty Boy is the man……

143336 2023-05-31
This movie was amazing because of action and comedy in the movie!